Welcome again to Inside Pogo, our new feature where we delve into the depths of pogo.com to find out what makes it tick and why the servers are always busy. This week, we were lucky enough to get some time out of the Word Whomp gophers' crazy schedules and ask them a few questions about our favorite word game...

Pogo: Okay, so let's get this question out of the way first: Are you guys moles, or gophers?

Gopher: We're gophers!

Gopher: Yay, gophers!

Pogo: Really? I guess I thought you were moles, because of the whole Whack-a-...

Gopher: No! The Whack-a-Mole name is copyrighted, All Rights Reserved! Don't make them send lawyers after us!

Gophers: Oh no! Lawyers!

(At this point, the Gophers ran away and hid in their burrows. 20 minutes of tempting with tasty snack treats were needed to lure them out.)

Pogo: Okay, sorry about that. I'll try not to bring up lawyers agai...

Gophers: Oh no! Lawyers!

(At this point, the Gophers ran away and hid in their burrows. An additional 30 minutes of soothing New Age music were required to bring them out again.)

Pogo: Right. Um, so, anyway... lets move on to a more pleasant subject. Can you give us your names for the record?

Gophers: (Blank stares)

Pogo: Don't you have names?

Gopher: Why do we need those?

Gopher: Just another thing to remember.

Pogo: But, how did your mom call to you when you were a kid?

Gophers: "Hey, you!"

Pogo: I see. Well. Hey, you, why don't you tell me how you got started at Pogo?

Gopher: Pogo was making a word game. But they couldn't find a good way to present it.

Pogo: What do you mean?

Gopher: Well, first, they tried a "building the Tower of Babble" game. But it didn't work. Too expensive.

Gopher: Too much heavy lifting.

Gopher: Also had trouble with local cement mixers union.

Gopher: Not a good scene.

The "Tower of Babble" game concept

Pogo: So what happened next?

Gopher: Then they tried a word game with monkeys and typewriters.

Pogo: I see, that "A million monkeys on a million typewriters writing the works of Shakespeare" parable. Very literary.

Gophers: (Pause. Blank stares)

Gopher: What are you talking about?

Gopher: Pogo just thought monkeys were funny.

Pogo: Oh. So, what happened to the monkeys?

Gopher: Monkeys throw their poo.

Gopher: They throw it everywhere!

Gopher: The Pogo offices were a mess.

Gopher: The janitor threatened to quit.

Gopher: We're toilet trained.

Gopher: We're cuter, too!

The "Monkeys on a Typewriter" game concept. This picture was taken during one of those rare "no airborne poo" moments.

Pogo: I see. And so that's when they hired you guys.

Gopher: Uh-huh.

Gopher: We answered an ad in the papers.

The classified ad answered by the gophers. Curiously, Pogo used the very same ad to find its latest Funny Pages editor.

Pogo: Did you find it hard to adjust to the life of a computer game star?

Gopher: We had to change our look a lot.

Gopher: Lots of plastic surgery.

Gopher: Lots of dieting.

Gopher: But it was worth it.

Gopher: Hef invites us to all his parties now.

Gopher: Those are fun!

Gopher: But he keeps promising us "bunnies" and there's just a bunch of women there.

Gopher: I don't think he knows what a bunny really is.

The gophers over their lifetime as Pogo employees.

Pogo: Let's get to some strategy discussions. You've seen a lot of games. What tips do you have for our players?

Gopher: I have a suggestion! If you see the letter s, you should always try to make plurals of everything.

Gophers: Yay, plurals!

Pogo: I see. So if I spell "lip" and "hip" and there's a letter s in there, I should also look for "lips" and "hips"

Gopher: Uh-huh. Also, when the game's over, don't just jump to the next game.

Gophers: Boo!

Pogo: Why not?

Gopher: Look at the words you missed. They'll probably appear again.

Gopher: Yeah. That's the most important thing. Especially the 3 and 4 letter words. You'll start to see them over and over.

Gopher: So you really want to study those words you didn't get.

Pogo: That's a good suggestion

Gopher: I've got one!

Pogo: Okay, hey you, what's yours?

Gopher: You also want to remember anagrams.

Pogo: You mean, if I see the word "tip", I should also remember that I can spell the word "pit".

Gopher: Uh-huh. Same with "ore" and "roe". Or "tea" "eat" and "ate"

Pogo: Hey, "anagrams" is a pretty big word for a gopher.

Gopher: Awww... shucks...

Pogo: Anything else?

Gopher: Uh-huh... word length is very very important. A 6 letter word is worth lots more than a 3 letter word!

Pogo: How much more? Is a 6-letter word worth two 3-letter words?

Gopher: Oh, no. It's worth much much more.

Gopher: It's like ten 3-letter words!

Gopher: Yeah!

Pogo: I've seen sometimes that people ask for help with letters in chat. How do you feel about that?

Gopher: Oh, we like that.

Gopher: You can make friends that way.

Gopher: Yay!

Pogo: That's good. Say, does it hurt when you get whomped?

Gopher: A little.

Gopher: But it goes away fast.

Gopher: You get used to it.

Gopher: Plus, it's all worth it if we get to spell words.

Gophers: Yay, words!

Gopher: And sometimes you get to be the one eating the carrot, which is fun.

Pogo: Really? How do you decide who gets to be the one who eats the carrot?

Gopher: We take turns.

Pogo: Isn't it difficult remembering whose turn is next if you all look the same and none of you have names?

Gophers: (Silence. Blank stares.)

Gopher: What do you mean?

Pogo: Like you, for example, when was the last time you got to eat the carrot?

Gopher: Ummm... what day is today?

Pogo: Tuesday.

Gopher: Okay, if it's Tuesday then the last time would be... ummm... hrmmm... never.

Pogo: Never? What about the rest of you?

Gopher: Never.

Gopher: Never.

Gopher: Never.

Gopher: Never.

Gopher: Never.

Gopher: *Burp*

Pogo: Maybe you should guys should work out a better system.

Gophers: (Silence. Blank stares.)

Gopher: Why would we want to do that?

Pogo: Uh... nevermind.

Well, that's about it for this week of Inside Pogo. But we need suggestions from you. Have a question you always wanted to ask Pogo? Got any stories or advice to share? Send us some email -- we'd love to hear from you.

The Funny Pages would like to thank Dave Rohrl for his assistance in translating English to whatever language it is gophers speak, and Rich and Kent for not throwing away any of their old drawings.