Hey, gang! So this past Tuesday was Election Day and... well... apparently George Bush won, 'cuz he's still president. All we have to say is whoever was running against him ran an awful campaign. Way to drop the ball, Democrats. Besides that race, there were some other interesting elections going on last Tuesday. At the time of this writing, poll results haven't come in. But let's take a look at some regional contests from around the country...

Over in Nevada, citizens were voting on Question 9 -- a state measure that would make it legal to possess up to three ounces of marijuana for personal use. While initial surveys found strong support for the bill, the latest exit polls show support was crumbling.

A lot of eyes were on Florida this election. After the 2000 election fiasco, followed by several irregularities in the 2002 Democratic primaries, Florida was determined to make a good show of the election this year. And with technological advancements like touchscreen voting machines, Florida election officials were happy to report the election went smoothly. The officials then sent their hearty congratulations to governor-elect Pat Buchanan.

In Wilmington Vermont, voters were deciding whether or not to ban skinny-dipping. Supporters of the activity say it brings important tourist dollars to the area. Opponents said that the town was being influenced by (seriously!) the powerful "out-of-state nudists" lobby. A representative for the out-of-state nudists gave a press conference to rebut these claims, but... well... when he walked up to the podium, we all kinda left.

In New Mexico, voters were busy deciding whether to amend the state constitution. The old wording in the constitution prohibits "idiots" from voting, leaving local idiots only one other choice... running for office.

(Yeah, you could see that coming a mile away. So sue me.)

Over in Montana, Libertarian candidate for Governor Stan Jones had his skin turned permanently blue after taking too much colloidal silver as an immune-system booster. While his odd appearance has isolated some voters, he has picked up the much sought-after Blue Man Group voting contingent.

In Oklahoma, voters were deciding whether to ban cockfighting. Supporters of the ban called the sport barbaric and cruel to the animals, but they faced strong opposition in powerful cockfighting promoter, Chicken a la King.

Said King in a recent bit of fiery rhetoric, "Bok bok ba-kok bak. Ba-KAAK!!" King, however, faced a major stumbling block when his campaign trail led him too close to a local KFC. He will be remembered as a charismatic and extra-crispy politician.

James Traficant in Ohio is still running for office, despite being in a federal prison and being unable to vote himself because he is a convicted felon. Still, Traficant's latest slogan "James Traficant: Always a sympathetic ear. From visiting hours 1 to 3 on Wednesday through Sundays, pending a background check with 1 week's advance notice." has resonated with the voters, promising to make this a tough race.

And finally, here on the local front, Pogo's very own Robert Giedt ran for office as the Libertarian party's candidate for State Assembly in San Mateo county. Robert hopes his common-sense stance on issues like taxes and campaign finance reform will resonate with the voters. However, he concedes that going against better-funded major party candidates will be tough. "If I can receive 5% of the vote," said Giedt, "I'll consider that a victory." Which just goes to show you... math ain't his strong suit.

So congratulations to all of you who voted this past election. Remember, every vote counts. Except in most elections, where the winner usually wins by a margin of several thousand votes. Then it probably doesn't matter how you voted.

Back to The Pogo Shtick Funny Pages